Category Archives: READ OF THE WEEK

READ OF THE WEEK: LIL BOW WOW (SHAD MOSS)

Ok listen. As much as I would love to do nothing more than sit here, roast, gag and drag Lil Bow Wow, this read of the week is gonna come from a different place. Now I don’t know exactly when Bow Wow became the butt of EVERY joke possible but it’s been quite sometime since ANYBODY took him seriously. Wait was it the #BOWWOWCHALLENEGE where the internet caught him lying about being on a private jet? Nah we were clowning him before that right? We’ll hell lets just start there!

This seems to happen to most child stars so imma give him the “well you lasted longer than most of them” pass. I don’t know exactly what went down in your life recently but he has posted on Twitter and IG that something TRAMATIC has happened to him within the past two days that has changed his life. Along with the string of suicidal tweets and cries for help, I think Shad needs to go get some therapy!

I promise not to drag him….UNLESS he really pulls a stunt! Listen I have a heart! Even for clowns even thought I’m TERRIFIED of clowns. If I see one get hit by a car, I not gonna rejoice like “ANOTHER ONE BITES THE DUST”! Bow Wow is that clown! He does say he has a new album coming, G6, allegedly but due to the situation that went down he pushed it back! Ok. I’ll even take a listen cause I’m wiping your slate clean here in The Library but be clear we keep records here!

Will ya’ll be checking out Bow Wow’s new album when it drops?

P GOT DAMN S!!!!

I JUST HAD A BRILLANT IDEA!!! MONA!!!! CALL BOW WOW AND GET HIM ON ONE OF THESE LOVE AND HIP HOP FRANCHISES!!! I think that can revive his career a little and make him a little more likeable! JUST DON’T PUT HIM WITH ERICA MENA!!!  PLEASE!!! Or….maybe YES PUT HIM WITH ERICA MENA!!! That’ll be GOOD for TV! OK I’m done!

 

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READ OF THE WEEK: TOKYO TONI

Now as if you throwing yo 50 year old ass in a circle wasn’t enough down to the Gram, now you done went and started all this mess so now imma have to have a kiki with you sis!

Now for a while Tokyo and I were good Judys! I loved her for her ratchet ass antics and how she kept it 137% real on the way she felt about, hell EVERYTHING! This was back before Chyna and Rob. If you haven’t already seen the videos that she’s posted in the past few days go check em out. I’m not posting that mess on here! But I bet I talk about the shit though!

So allegedly Chyna hasn’t let Toni see her grandbabies in two year! Well for Dream it would only be one year and for King it would be two. So she goes on this Insta-rant about how Chyna has done her wrong. “YOU DON’T KNOW HOW MANY D***S I HAD TO SUCK TO FEED YOU!” is just one of the things she said in this 3 part video series of pity party. Toni listen to me! And this is coming from the realist place I can find in my spirit. GET OVER IT!

I WILL NEVER  KNOW WHAT IT’S LIKE TO BE A MOTHER but I will know what it’s like to be a fool. And Toni look like a damn fool. Listen I’ve learned we kids are dumb as shit! And we treat our parents like ass sometimes. Esepcially when we don’t know how to express ourselves. But I know this, after we make an ass of ourselves we comeback. She gone need you LONG BEFORE you need her….well you know what, in ya’ll case I aint sure. Cause aint it funny how money change the situation!

Now I don’t know why she aint letting you see them babies but as a parent you gotta respect her decision and keep it pumping. I’m sure it hurts but you do. There has to be a reason which only you and her know but there’s a reason! Maybe it’s because you was twerking yo ASS down to the internet! Or any other one of your antics that you be up to.

Now i’m never gone tear nobody down without extending a hand to help them up! Toni CALL IYANLA! And I know that’s probably something you don’t wanna do but sis if I know NOTHING about yo daughter, it’s that she love some attention. And getting on tv again is all she wants. It’s a two for two! You get some healing and she gets a check! And hey maybe you can see yo grandbabies again! Now I don’t wanna hear no more of it. I’ll tweet Iyanla too for you.

I love you for reading!

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READ OF THE WEEK! BLAC CHYNA….I DON’T EVEN WANNA COME UP WITH A CATCHY TITLE FOR THIS POST!

Listen! I said I wasn’t even gonna discuss Blac Chyna dumb ass but since she is now serisuly persuing LEGAL ACTION for this dumb ass sex tape that IF YOU ONLY ASK ME, she released herself I gotta read this trollop!

So by now I’m sure you’ve seen the videos of Chyna 304’n all over the twitter-verse. AND NO I WILL NOT BE POSTING IT HERE. The Library is a family place (lol) but Twitter was a place to be when this shit all hit the fan honey! Now here’s the thing, No we don’t know the gentlemen in the video yet but with Chyna’s track record that could be ANYBODY! My guess was the Ferrari guy that she was messing with a while back only due to skin tone and vocals. Nonetheless that Mechie fool says it’s him (mind you he light skinned as hell) plus if it was you DUMB ASS you just incriminated yourself cause you know Chyna thirsty ass gone take this to court and waste the citizens of LA tax dollars.

So while all of this is going on she’s trying toplay the victim just like she did when Rob released the titty pictures of her less than smart ass. Here’s my thing Chyna, WHY DO YOU KEEP LETTING PEOPLE FILM YO DUMB ASS AND OR TAKING PHOTOS THAT YOU “DON’T WANT ANYONE TO SEE!” Shit quite frankly we’ve seen every inch of yo build bad ass so what you even wasting time crying “OH MY BODY IS EXPOSED WHOA IS ME” for is beyond me!

She just can’t get over the fact that Kardashian train railroaded her ass. Yea you got baby Dream out of this situation so you don’t have much to worry about but be clear, THEY STILL WON! And you can’t just be a woman, take your L and keep it pumping. Instead you resort to leaking basic BJ’s and terrible sex just for a little shine! But I ain’t gone talk about this no more until Lisa Bloom thirsty ass come out the closet talking about “she has the right to share her body with who she wants but they can’t share it” BITCH BYE!

I LOVE YOU GUYS FOR READING leave a comment below on what you think about this entire mess!

X0X0X0

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READ OF THE WEEK!!! YOU LITTLE BISH!!! KHLOE KARDASHIAN ADMITS TO FAKING FERTILITY ISSUES ON NEW SEASON ON #KUWTK

THIS STORY REALLY JUST COOKED MY RICE!!! Now everybody knows i love my Kardashians and you can judge your mother! But i like them however Khloe, after this stunt you skallywag don’t be coming back bout round Cleveland no more! 

So in the trailer for the next season of #KUWTK, Khloe admits to faking her fertility issues due to her “situation” with Lamar Odom, her ex husband for y’all who don’t keep up. That’s what I’m here for. 

Now you remember back when the show was actually good Khloe and Lammy were cute and cuddly and happy and trying so hard to have a baby. The world was on this “we’re rooting for Baby Khlomar” kick, she illicited sympathy and everything and now you come out and say you were faking the treatments. And bitch this was your story line for at least 4 seasons!!! I’m just so disgusted! 

It’s not even the fact that you lied about it cause hey it’s yo coo-coo if you wanna lie on it, that’s between you and it! But the fact that you sit up here and say “my situation with Lamar.” So does that mean the relationship was always bad. Cause you got married what 3 week after meeting? Flag number 1! And you wanna make a spinoff CONTINUING to perpetuate the fact that you couldn’t get pregnant! There are women out here who would KILL for the fertility treatment you alleged to have and you just playing with your uterus! 

AND THEN BITCH WAIT!!! E! NEWS POSTED A STORY SAYING THAT YO NEW MAN TRISTAN THOMAS OR WHAT-THE-HELL-EVER WANTS YOU TO HAVE 5 KIDS!!! NOW I’M REALLY MAD! AND YOU GONE SIT YO RAGGEDY ASS IN OUR ARENA. NOW I SEE WHY CLEVELAND WANTS NOTHING TO DO WITH YO ASS! SHE DONE FUCKED AROUND AND PISSED ME OFF AT 5 AM! 

Anyway y’all can move Khloe down your list of favorite Kardashians and move her up on the most dispised! 

I love you for reading! 

Xoxoxo

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READ OF THE WEEK! BITTER ASS AUNT VIV #1 JANET HUBERT

As I sit on this Read Of The Week and try to find witty puns and things to say, this hefer is such an easy read she’s making this easy. Now for all my new millennia’s lemme give y’all some background then we gone get to reading. The woman you see above is Janet Hubert also known as Aunt Viv #1 from the very popular 90 sitcom The Fresh Prince of Bel Air staring Will Smith. So back in the day Janet was recasted due to her BIG MOUTH and trying to start a revolt against Will Smith all in the name of some extra coins! So, in comes light skinned and if you ask me, substantially less funny Aunt Viv! So there’s your history lesson for today. Now lets reads!

So the  picture was posted by Alfonso Ribeiro on Facebook of the cast of the Fresh Prince in their current state. Everybody looks great btw. But of course bitter betty Janet Hubert was not having it. And I blame social media to an extent cause had some of us not been sending her this photo constantly asking her what she thinks about it, she might’ve kept her mouth shut and avoided this read but since she didn’t, let’s go.

She said, and this isn’t verbatim but imma sum it up. “There can’t be a reunion without any UNION” and then goes on to READ THE DOG FUCK OUT OF CARLTON saying he was stuck to Will’s ass light glue in the sun and kissing more ass than a little bit! So my gag is, why is Carlton the only one you called out?

The fact that you take no spite with the chick who actually replaced yo ass is just laughable to me. And you have grounds because you were the better of the two Aunt Vivs but SIS this bitter, shit 40+ year old feud is TIRED, THROUGH AND DELAYED!!! You more pressed than a rented tuxedo in May! And I probably wouldn’t be so into this read had you not tried to drag my girl Lovelyti from YouTube the way you did when she did that video about you a while back; yea I don’t forget shit!

Now she talmbout she wants to truth to come out about what went down with the show. GIRL WHAT ELSE DO WE NEED TO KNOW. YOU BIT THE HAND THAT FED YOU, SO THEY GAVE YO FOOD TO SOMEBODY ELSE! It’s Hollywood honey, shit happens everyday! LET IT GO ELSA!!! You 61 years old! I imagine you have grandkids and hell the way kids having kids nowadays you might even have great grandkids! Go let them enjoy your legacy and quit making these kids down to the schoolhouse tease them about they bitter Grandma Janet that can’t catch a break with a glove the size of Pluto! OK! Now I’m not gone talk to you no more sis!

I love you for reading!!!

X0X0X0

 

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READ OF THE WEEK: NICKI MINAJ…. OR ROMAN…. MARTHA…. SOMEBODY!!!!

SOMEBODY PLEASE SUMMON ROMAN CAUSE NICKI AIN’T GOT IT IN HER NO MORE! Girl did you hear this new Nicki record featuring Turtle Neck and DragShow “No Frauds” Chile she could’ve kept that! As far as that song being a “response” to a now LEGENDARY diss record, honey you take another L! BUT!!! If you want something I can twerk to and they can play on the radio, sis you get a W for that. But we know that’s all you check for is numbers and things anyway so yea.

So Nicki took a while two weeks of my life, tootsie rolled around Paris looking like Futurama Lil Kim, shots some photos and then delivers this song with two other singles! Btw Beyoncé is the ONLY bitch that can release more than one single and get my attention, (just due to my own attention span so shade Nicki.) I couldn’t get through, “Changed It” cause y’all know how I feel about Lil Wayne. My tolerance is LOW. I’m actually listening to that “Regret In Your Tears” as I type this and she better drag Mickey Mouse (Meek Mills for y’all just joining us) in this song! I like this song! So I guess 1/3 ain’t bad. I can see myself bumping this in the car!

So all in all, Nicki sis I suggest you find Roman OOH and how the hell you gone give Remy 72 hours to reply and it took you a WHOLE PAY PERIOD to make a whack response!!! And somebody tell her to stop making that annoying ass bird noise! I’m done shit, Nicki honey I’m going to listen to Itty Bitty Piggy and reminisce on yester years. Let’s chat later. And y’all know

I love you for reading!!

X0X0X0

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READ OF THE WEEK: CASH ME OUSIDE GIRL!!

Now these microwave/Instagram celebrities I normally don’t give the time a day. Because usually just like their rise, they fall just as quick. But I’m so SICK of this “cash me ouside” chick!!!
Sis I don’t even know this little girl name but I tell you what. The hood white girl quota is filled! And she’s not even good at it! But that’s not why she’s getting the prestigious “READ OF THE WEEK!” She getting it because of her statement regarding Kylie Jenner!
So she doing a radio interview…. Which leads me to another question. WHY ARE WE BOOKING THIS CLOWN TO DO RADIO INTERVIEWS AS IF SHE ACTUALLY HAS SOMETHING CREDIBLE TO SAY BESIDES THAT TACKY CATCH PHRASE OF HERS? Anyway excuse me, I’ve seem to lost my way. On the radio she says she doesn’t like Kylie and believes she’s an attention whore. HELLO POT! I’D LIKE TO INTRODUCE YOU TO MY FRIEND KETTLE! Then she goes further and begins talking about Kylie transformation just plain dogging her for no reason at all but the fact that she’s jealous!
Now I normally don’t read kids but sis you had it coming. I suggest while you have this very small platform, you do something constructive with it. Because “cash me ouside” ain’t gone play the bills for the rest of your life. And to social media, STOP MAKING FOOLS LIKE THIS BELIEVE THEY ACTUALLY HAVE SOMETHING GOING FOR THEMSELVES. She wouldn’t be as popular if we weren’t gassing her up! Notice I didn’t mention her name ONCE you wanna know why, CAUSE I DON’T KNOW IT!! She’s nothing more than the “cash me ouside” girl and she will be that forever if she don’t do something productive with her tacky ass life!
I love you for reading!
X0X0X0
PS
WHERE THE HELL IS HER MAMA?!

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