Just when I thought it’s gone be a slow news week, Janet Jackson goes and pulls an EPIC scam on her husband Wissam Al Mana! Now listen to me, this baby ain’t even got the cord cut and Janet done said I’M OUT, filing for divorce after 5 years.
Now get ready to gag cause this is why this is the most iconic scam of the century. There’s a clause in Janet and Wissam prenuptial agreement that states if the marriage last 5 years, she’ll receive 500M!!! Guess how long she stayed, 5 years and 60 days bitch!!!!
Janet done came up in the biggest way. Not only did you just scam this multimillionaire out of 500M, THAT DON’T EVEN INCLUDE CHILD SUPPORT SHE BOUT TO GET FOR THAT BABY!!! AUNTIE JANET CAN I BORROW A FEW DOLLARS?!
Girl the internet is calling her “Janet The Scammer” and even Joanne couldn’t pull a scam this iconic. She ain’t gotta work for the rest of her, her baby (both the one we know and the one we ain’t supposed to know about) , they ain’t gotta work and shit they kids ain’t gone have to work. She struck gold over there in the middle east! Is the bus still running cause I need to catch a flight! Anyway lemme see if I can find me a cheap flight to wherever her husband is from, I’ll check on a buddy pass too if y’all wanna come too.
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CHRISTOPHER!!! COME HERE BOY!!!! Now this don’t make no got damn monkey fucking sense! You wanna explain to me, why the hell Karrueche was granted a temporary restraining order against yo yellow ass?! I’ll tell you what she said! She said you whooped her ass, kicked her down some steps, and threatened to kill her ass! The worst part about it is, I have NO choice but to believe her. You wanna know why Christopher, because you posted that FUCKING SNAP last month about how if the woman you love move on you gone stalk them and make they life miserable and if you can’t have her nobody can!!! You’re a walking lifetime story!
But wait this story gets deeper. So some chick who allegedly lived next door to these two road lizards is backing up Karrueche saying she used to hear her screaming for her life and being beaten. She also claims that she had an altercation with Chris when he was being loud and woke up her kid and Chris probably told her where to go and how to get there! I’m not sure if I believe her yet or if she’s just a random trying to get attention.
And then to add insult to injury, girl Chris had to the nerve to bow out the Soulja Boy fight, talmbout it’s petty and the wrong people you involved and made it all about money. BOY IF YOU DON’T GET IN THAT RING AND FIGHT LIKE YOU FIGHTING THESE WOMEN.
SERIOUSLY, lock his ass up. If these things are true he needs to be in jail. It ain’t like he making no quality music anymore. Chris you done pissed me off! Like I wanna see yo little fan club get you out of this one. But I know them little thirsty ass chicken head are all over Karrueche page throwing shade.
I’m not fucking with Chris “cuss yo mama out” Brown ass no more. Do you believe Karrueche or Chris on this one. Leave us a comment and as always
I love you for reading!
Listen sis, if I didn’t believe that Paula Patton was drunk as I write this story about her ass, I would probably believe what she had to say! But since we all know Paula loves her some splashes of champagne, I’ll digress and just get into the story! This custody battle between her and her ex-husband Robin “Twerking on the stage with Miley-No Cakes- Cyrus” Thicke is getting messier and messier. Get into these updates!
So, Paula aint trynna let Robin see their 6-year-old son, Julian allegedly due to Robin “spanking” the child excessively; per her people! Robin said, yes; he open hand to butt spanked his son, nothing excessive though as is being alleged against him. Stop right there. Lemme just say this, I was bad as hell as a kid. (surprise) And I got my ass beat! What the hell is a spanking?! Furthermore, Thicke says the little boy went down to the school and told he got “spanked” and the teachers called the feds! See this why you beat they ass and say tell them, “if you tell somebody imma beat yo ass for-real next time!”
Now Robin is saying that Paula is just pissed that he didn’t invite her or her drunk ass family to the fune for his father, the late Alan Thicke! Now if that aint some petty shit, I don’t know what is! He even went on to say that Paula felt some kinda way towards Alan and she didn’t have a positive relationship with him. Now that’s a reason not to invite her ass to the fune!
So, after all that, Judge Maybelline told Paula, she aint about to limit this man’s visitation. He aint did shit wrong! I hate this part of divorce when we have to start dragging the kids into the mess. Using them as a pawn and that’s what I think Paula is doing. She need to take another sip of that Moscato and take a got damn seat!
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It’s a new year and she aint taking no more shit! Nicki Minaj finally got tired of collection these joint L’s with that zero Meek Mills and went SINGLE LADIES right in time for Valentine’s Day! That’s how I assume it’s real. Had she waited until after I would’ve assumed she was just in this for some publicity stunt and holding out for a gift. But she took to twitter this morning to post the following about her new life and next career moves….
I’m happy for Nicki! I tell you what, somebody call Safaree cause I tell you what. And this is only in my own opinion. She made her BEST music when she was fucking that Island boy! And clearly he can’t keep a woman to save his life so LET’S DO THIS! I’m definitely looking forward to a new album also cause you know artist make their best work after a break-up anyway so this new album is sure to spill tea and be full of jams! Congratulations Nicki and Mickey Mouse, here’s to just another L your taking to start the new year off!
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Ok so I don’t even know ANY of these damn girls’ names let alone care. However, the past week Fifth Harmony has been all over the WWW’s sis! First, one of they asses got arrested for getting high on a plane! ALLEGEDLY! (sue my ass you won’t) and now on of them is leaving the damn group! Now lemme just tell ya’ll what, I’m no Harmonizer, or nothing but they got a few songs I bop to! Especially that “Work from Home” song with TY$ Sign! And they new song I like to ummmm something about “That’s My Girl”. GIRL I was in the car going AWF! But clearly they are about to pull a Danity Kane and I just wanna know what is in the girl group water?!
For the life of me, these manufactured girl groups (and I mean that in the best way possible) have to understand! Bitch ya’ll gotta stick this shit out for the fans! Did you learn NOTHING from Danity Kane?! Them bitches couldn’t stand, sit or lean next to each other but for YEARS they stuck it out for the fans. Now granted after a while they was just like fuck this shit we out! But shit they was under Bad Boy so was they DOOMED from the jump!
But why don’t girls’ groups last anymore? Hell, for that matter why have girl groups never lasted forever. Bitch 98 Degrees just was on tour with all the original members’ sis! No add in, replacements and was still moving like this was 1999! Dru Hill is selling out ya local casino ballroom right now! And Sisco hair is still fleek! Maybe it just because men in general are a little more……how can I put this without offending…. less catty than women. I always say, in a group of girl even if they all look good there’s one bitch in the group that’ll hate on EVERY one of em. It’s just in their nature.
But the entire gag is they are gonna try and continue without the girl. Lemme get her name so I can stop calling her “the girl”. Camilla is her name. And she is gonna go solo allegedly. THE ONLY MEMBER OF A GIRL GROUP TO SUCCESSFULLY GO SOLO IS BEYONCE! And that’s because Matthew had her ass running around the block in heels since she was 4! Everybody can’t BEY-YONCE! So, I think before you waste your money and time, just let it go! Leave us with the hits ya’ll have and let us mourn in peace. I can’t stand when they try to carry on without members and the real gag is, the 100% real tea is, as a group your only gonna be successful. Ask Dawn Richards!
Anyway, lemme know what ya’ll think about this entire situation below and as always….
I LOVE YOU FOR READING!
So, listen to me Librarians! I’ve been wanting to talk to ya’ll about this shade for a week now but I been pre-occupied but believe you me, TONIGHT I GOT TIME FOR IT! So ya’ll know Little Mix, right? Ok you might not but you REALLY should! I love them! Ever since I saw them on the Wendy Williams Show back when they first album came out a few years back. But that’s neither here nor there. So back in that time one of the members, Perrie Edwards was engaged to ex-One Direction’s Zayn Malik. At that time, he was still in the group.
So, you know they broke up right, a little while ago and he’s been dating that Gigi Hadid girl (whose been attached to a whole lot of men but not judging) Before I tell ya’ll about the drag let’s play a good ol game of “Who’d you Rather” Perrie on the Left, Gigi on the right.
One things for sure,he has a type! Ok so time for the mess. So, Little Mix released a new song called, “Shout Out to My Ex” and it was written by guess who, PERRIE ASS!!! And bitch it’s MESSY!!! Here’s my favorite line,
“I hope she’s getting better sex, hope she aint faking it like I did”
GIRL I LIKED TO DIED WHEN I HEARD THAT LINE!!!! So, all that Pillow Talking is for nothing huh! And here’s why I believe her. Normally when people break up, generally the first thing the woman must attack is the guys sex game. But they we’re ENGAGED! And she waited sometime before she told us that his sex game was WHACK! There’s also a scene from the music video where she throws a teddy bear that she was given by Zayn out a moving car!
Ya’ll I love the mess and I love Little Mix. I’m relating to this song but my ex sex was good so I can’t fully relate. Anywho if you love the mess leave us a comment and I’ll leave the video here so you guys can gag to! And as always
I love you for reading!
LIBRARIANS I AM SO PISSED OFF! SOMEBODY PULL ME A LEGAL BOOK THAT SPECIALIZES ON DIVORCE CAUSE SOMETHING CAN’T BE TRUE ABOUT THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE!
So if you haven’t heard by now, Mary J. “Crispy Chicken” Blige is going through a divorce from her husband of 13 years Kendu Isaacs. Now the gag is this bastard got the damn nerve to be requesting approximately $130,000 in spousal support! And I know ya’ll wanna know what the hell he gone do with that kinda money. Here’s his plans….
$1,000 for clothing
$3,200 for a personal trainer
$5,000 per month for child support
$5,000 per month for his parents
$7,000 in rent
$8,000 for a private chef
$21,677 for charities
$71,000 for mortgages on several properties
Additional costs for legal fees
Totaling $121,877! Now Mary girl I’m here for you cause I don’t believe no woman should be taking care of a man unless the D was that good and in his case, imma just make a judgement. So imma go through this list with a fine tooth comb and help you keep some of your coins cause this is just ridiculous!
- $1,000 for clothing: BITCH BURLINGTON is good for making a man of his age look
young and hip since that’s what he gone wanna do. He gone try and find him a tenderloin PYT with yo money but not on my watch. And a smooth $200 at Burlington will take you FAR and they got layaway! QUIT PLAYING!
- $3,200 for personal trainer: first of all, he aint in the best shape of his life so clearly this trainer aint doing something right. But I tell you what, there’s a planet fitness on every block nowadays and you can join for $21.00/month and that’s the black card membership! You can use them massage chairs and shit, go in the sauna all that stuff AND you get a t-shirt! That can go with your other clothes from Burlington. So I’m cutting that down to $21/month.
- $5,000 per month for child support: IF YOU THINK IM ABOUT TO PAY YO CHILD SUPPORT YOU GOT ME FUCKED UP! As far as I know Mary aint got no damn kids! Bitch acting like he aint been working as Mary manager for the past how many years so you pay yo own damn child support bitch! 0$ ON THAT!
- $5,000 per month for his parents: God bless your parents, BUT I AINT PAYING FOR THEY ASSES EITHER! 0$ ON THAT!
- $7,000 in rent: YOU BETTA DOWN SIZE LIKE HER! It’s just you now so I’m splitting that in half to $3,500.
- $8,000 for a private chef: If this chef is living with you, he need to kick in on rent and if he aint kicking in you need to get a Rachel Ray cook book! I’ll give you a smooth
$1,000 for cooking classes from Chef Roble!
- $21,677 for charities: You wanna give to charity, do it on your own dime! We not together so WE aint kicking in cause you wanna be charitable! 0$ on that!
- $71,000 on mortgages for several properties: SALE THEM! SALE THEM ALL! Or if you wanna keep them, you pay for them. But Ms. Blige will NOT be spending ANY time at ANY locations! 0$ on that!
So…. our new grand total is…. $4,721! That’s a savings of $117,156!!! Mary, I’m just saying girl, if you need a divorce attorney, come on in The Library and ask for Trey! We’ll come and help you out. And we damn sure won’t be charging you what your lawyers are! EMAIL US GIRL! And as always
I love you for reading
Between this fool and Sherri Sheppard ex, ya’ll can call VH1 and get a reality show! Call it, “SHE GOT IT”! The story of two ex husbands struggling to live off their ex wives. VH1 don’t say I didn’t pitch this idea first!