So we out of here. I knew Ness said she was done but she’s said that shit before. I think she really meant that shit this time. Well she must’ve since she didn’t resign that lease. And now i’m stuck moving our shit out cause she gotta work all these extra hours for her security deposit. I don’t even have a plan to where the fuck i’m going! I mean I know she’ll let me stay with her until I find something but I ain’t too sure that’s what she wants. But that’s Ness. She’d take in the homeless if she could.

I kinda wonder how we did this for so long. All the years of back and forth, me being deployed, the baby mamas and she still was dealing wit me. Packing all our photos from college and our early 20’s, how did this go wrong. I mean I know it’s mostly me. But I still got some issue going on that I haven’t addressed. I ain’t trynna go to no shrink cause I aint crazy! I might have that post stress shit they be talmbout. I mean I googled it and yea I got some of them symptoms but what I’m supposed to do. I can’t talk to Ness cause she just be dogging my ass out about getting my shit together. Can’t talk to my boys about it, Mom just wanna pray for me but that clearly aint been working since Big Mama been doing it. I don’t know man, but I gotta have this house at least packed up before Ness get back home.


Amanda: Girl you been spaced out since 7 AM, what’s going on with you?

Nessa: just a lot on my mind.

Amanda: ….ok we got time lets here it sis!

Nessa: You ever been in a relationship….


Nessa: Can I finish?!

Amanda: ok sorry go head cause I STILL don’t know how somebody like you puts up with ALL that bullshit but go head girl I’m listening.

Nessa: Now, have you ever been with someone out of pity. Like your not with them for any other reason but because you feel like you can save them. Almost like they’re like your child?

Amanda: GIRL NO I HAVE NOT! But I will tell you this, you’re 32 years old, fine as hell, got ya own shit going for yourself and no kids. THE LAST thing you need is someone like Tae constantly dragging you down!

Nessa: I know but it’s way more than that. We been through hell, heaven and everything in between together. I don’t wanna just throw all that away.

Amanda: So how long you gone hold on to it?!

Nessa: We’ll he should be at home packing up our apartment now cause we’re leaving where we are now in Bedford and going to Parma.

Amanda: You going or YA’LL going?

Nessa: I mean if he doesn’t have anywhere to go then he’ll have to stay with me for a while until he figures it out.

Amanda: GIRL FUCK THAT! He got friends and a little family. He can go with them. If you’re trying to rid yourself of this entire sitution you gotta start being a little more assertive and cut throat. Fuck all that “he needs me” shit!

Nessa: But what if he goes back to the streets Amanda?

Amanda: Ok do you remember what they taught us in that life guard class in college?

Nessa: You know I wasn’t paying no attention in that class! I was just trying to swim with minimum wetness to my hair. You don’t have that problem cause you half & half!

Amanda: NONE THE LESS BITCH that instructor told us the number one rule to lifeguarding. Never be pulled under by the person you’re trying to save! Apply that to your situation in the water and out the water!

Nessa: That’s all you remember from that class?

Amanda: Yep and it was the most important thing too! Take a hint Ness!

Amanda walks away blowing a kiss. My girl always keeps it 100 wit me. It’s not that easy. If it was I’d been rid myself of Tae a long time ago. Maybe this new scenery change will ignite something in him that wakes his ass up and he gets his life on track. He finally finished barber school, so he can go find a shop to start working in. I’ll have to put him on a trial. Just like a job, you got three months to have your shit together before you gotta go. Yea I say that to myself but will I be able to say it to him….


OK YA’LL!!!!! I’m loving ya’ll for reading and keeping up with this story! I really enjoy taking us back and forth in time. I’ve been having the time of my life writing this little book and I read it every Thursday just like ya’ll as if i’m not the one who wrote the shit! I hope ya’ll enjoyed this little mini chapter. Next week shit is gone get REAL! So be sure to check back in!

I love you for reading!!



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