WHAT YA’LL WEAR TO THE GALA GIRLS AND GUYS?! I was in a ninja turtle onesie *with the feet, Raphael to be exact* with an accent red eye tie that was like silk I believe and when the wind blew I looked like a real super hero bitch!

So for ya’ll who couldn’t make it, The Met Gala was Monday night (real rich people have galas and shit on Monday while us real working people is just waiting for 12 midnight so Tuesday can begin) But this was the time for all the fashionistas to show ass (NO YOU MADONNA) and for some to….well should’ve just stayed at home so let’s get into the nights drags and gags! And BTW the theme of the night was Technology fused with Art (not an official theme title but you know how I do).


PROM COUPLE! Now initially I was just waiting for Kim to show up! And when she hit the carpet I GAGGED LIKE YAAAASSS KIM BITCH EAT! I loved her dress. You know I’m a big ass kid and anything shiny makes me go ohhhh! After looking at the dress for the next day, I begin to like it a little less. Especially because I have to see that husband of yours with those horrid jeans on disrespecting this event and that Joanna fabrics exclusive jacket. I could make that exact same jacket for $22.79 and those CONTACTS!!! Just leave NOW!

While were talking Kardashian let’s just get them all out of the way right now! Kendall and Kylie. Kendall looked like she was wearing a beach cover and she was getting ready to go swimming! I mean this is the supermodel of the family and your little sister showed you up! Kylie entire ensemble from head to toe gave envy to her entire family. She looked stunning and most importantly GROWN! She won in the Kardashian category!

13166710_1584974851814750_2025392095_nLike I said on IG, and I don’t know if this is just a black thing, but whenever we see hair like Zendaya’s we thing right to Ike Turner! But put aside her from the neck up, I loved Zendaya’s look! She’s one of those child stars that generally always gets it right with her costumes and outfits so I wasn’t expecting her to disappoint. But that mushroom honey had to go! LOL

13118156_1735598700021108_1018755106_nWhen the first picture of Queen Bey came across my news feed, I hated it! The lighting was terrible and I just didn’t like the dress at all! Then the pictures of her on the carpet came and I instantly fell for it! See what lighting can do for you. The dress was latex and hand embroidered with Becky’s teeth! Now granted I know she lost some inches with that hot as latex on, the dress was beautiful, hair was everything but the makeup for me fell flat. Now there was a rumor online that said baby Blue did her makeup and if she did, then I’ll allow it. But if a fully functioning adult pulled that stunt they should’ve never gave her that smoky eye with that dress and hair!


Can we talk! Like talk for real! Like we always do! Here’s my gripe with this entire situation. The dress would’ve been fine, I liked the dress! But where Ciara messed up was with that God forsaken hair! She was just giving me Jack Frost tease and I couldn’t even concentrate on the dress because I’m looking at this titanium silver ass hair on her head. They were like finger waves, BITCH I JUST COULDN’T DO IT! My suggestion on IG was maybe the same color but a nice a-symmetrical bob would’ve gave this outfit what it needed. But Ciara them finger waves were an ERROR! C-ERROR!


Now the only reason I’m doing these three together because 1. There all wearing Moschino and 2. BECAUSE THERES DRAMA BEHIND THIS STORY! So Nicki outfit I hate but I like boobs! It just looks like designer seatbelts to me. And the hair is just wrong, but the boobs are a winner! (still a man *Kanye shrug) Now Demi dress I liked, I think it could’ve fit her a little better. Jeremy the skeleton thing I just wasn’t feeling. But here’s the tea behind this photo. So apparently Demi is throwing a pity party because Nicki didn’t tag her in the photo of her and Jeremy that she posted! So she proclaimed that this was her first and last Met because of this situation. If the entertainment industry was high school, Nicki would be that evil cheerleader mean girl! Why Demi is surprised or for that matter upset about this I will never know but she better get the hell over it!



Now I can’t tell you who or what a Jourdan Dunn is! But I found out that she is a model and SHE EMBODIED AND BODIED EVERY SINGLE BITCH IN THE BUILDING AT THIS GALA! This dress is everything the theme called for! Fit her PERFECTLY! The hair gave me everything! MAKEUP ON FLEEK! KENDALL THIS IS HOW A SUPERMODEL DRESSED BITCH! She slayed the dog fuck out of this Gala darling! The club couldn’t even handle it! BEST DRESSED!

Here’s some honorable and not so honorable mentions…. I’ll let you be the judge!

Before we head to this after party lemme talk about Mary Kate and Ashley asses! I’m sick of yall multi-million-dollar fashion empire running asses come up into our soirées looking late, lost and homeless! I was like really these girls have access to what most of these bitch dream of and they come in throw away garbs! Granted them throw away garbs are probably worth more than I make in a year, they still look terrible! I’m done!


Who were your favorites from the evening? Let us know below!



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Filed under Entertainment, Fashion Archive, Misc

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